With Valentine’s Day around the corner, concepts of love have obviously been floating around my head. But, of course, holiday or not, I have always wondered if I had a soul-mate? If I had already met this so-called soul-mate of mine? And, if we all as individuals have one perfect match? Today, I think I was finally able to answer that question for myself (to an extent) and understand what type of mate I would want to end up with.
As a waitress, a job I do part-time aside from free-lancing, there are certain customers I just cannot relate to simply based off of their aura and vibe. But, once in a blue, I find a customer and we just click. I like them as a human, female or male. No prior connection involved. I can understand where they are coming from, speaking to them comes easy and it is as though we have actually been friends in the past. Our souls, in a weird way, connect and relate to each other. And, that is what I think a soul-mate is… someone you just connect with naturally, no explanation needed. The bond is there as though it was created in a life-time before you both existed. But, the soul-mate term does not only have to pertain to romantic relationships, they can be extended into other categories.
Then there are those that inspire you and take you on a trip, I like to call them muses. They make you want better for yourself, they make you feel at ease when your world seems complex and they make you feel as though nothing is impossible. They fuel your creativity and they fulfill the same mission of a drug. They bring you to a feeling of ecstacy and addiction. Muses are fun but some of them, they can be temporary.
I think the combination of a soul-mate and muse is what most of us desire in our relationships. We want to connect with someone, relate to them, be inspired and be at a feeling of ecstacy whenever possible.
Last, there is a concept that I rarely thought about when referring to relationships. My friend brought this up to me a few weeks ago, he told me that all of his co-workers (most are married) said to him that he should marry his partner and not his soul-mate. An ideal partner is someone who can serve to be of practical use in your life. They have the same vision, similar income, compatible life-style to yours, want the same amount of kids and they balance you out… honestly, mostly in terms of finances.
So, which do you prefer? can you have all three? and, what is my personal preference when it comes to an ideal mate?
I think choosing a partner is definitely the most important of the three, life is a challenge and you need an equal mate that can help you build. In my relationships, I prefer balance and reciprocation therefore having a partner with a similar mentality is very important to me. Can you have all three? I hope you can, in my mind that is actually the ideal man I would want for myself. I want someone that does not make having a conversation difficult, I want someone that inspires me, I want someone that makes me feel as though my life is a vacation and I want someone that can bring the same exact things I am bringing to the table, which is a lot (but I would never ask for anything I cannot attempt to provide for myself).
The soul-mate conversation is something I definitely want to outgrow as there are more aspects to consider about a person when you get into a long-term relationship. Because, of romanticized ideals and movies such as the Notebook, I think we get caught up on finding the one when that is kind of impossible with so many people on earth. I think we should start moving towards a mentality where we value someone that comes into our lives that excites our souls, inspires us and wants to be our partner and play for our team. As, I continue to participate in this world of dating I will start to move away from focusing on one idea that is put on a pedestal by the media and be a little more open minded.